Vodka is just fun water

Alcohol, what’s that? It’s not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.






I went down first, Summer humming to herself behind.

We walked into the bar. The guy behind the bar was watching the large TV on the wall. He was young, maybe early twenties, dressed in baggy jeans and t-shirt. He rolled his eyes as she dropped the room key on the bar top.

“Go sit down, I’ll bring them over. What do you want?”

“Vodka and lemonade.”

“Can I have Vodka and lemonade and a diet coke with no ice, please?”

“Sorry. We ain’t got vodka.”

I looked round at Summer, who was trying to light the wrong end of a cigarette.

“They have no Vodka.”

“Anything then.”

“What have you got?”

He rolled his eyes again. “Southern Comfort? Jack Daniels?”

Summer shrugged and turned to watch the television that was on behind her. “Southern Comfort and lemonade. Thanks.”

He poured the drinks and I took them back to the table.

She took a long drink from the glass and spat it out over the floor.

“That’s not Vodka.”

“Did the colour not give it away? I told you he didn’t have any Vodka and you said anything.”

“But I want Vodka.” She took another sip and spat it out again.

“What would you like instead?”

“Vodka. Leave this to me.” The guy had disappeared from the bar and had walked out into reception. Summer followed. I thought I ought to follow as well.

“Excuse me. This isn’t vodka.”

The lad was leaned over talking to the receptionist, showing his bum crack from ill fitting jeans.

“I know, but we don’t have any. It’s what you ordered.”

“It’s not what I want. How can you be a bar without vodka?”

“What can I do? It’s gone three o’clock. I will get some tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow,” she said wagging her finger and spilling her drink, “tomorrow, I will be sober and this will seem like a bad idea. I do not drink things with colour.”

He rolled his eyes a third time and walked back into the bar, with us following and reached down.

“We have this.” He pulled out a small bottle of a Vodka based drink.

“Perfect.” She put her glass of Southern Comfort down, took the bottle and spun on her heel smiling at me. “See, that’s how it’s done.”

She sat down opposite me and put her legs up on my lap.

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