Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.

I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.

Rodney Dangerfield






I really hoped Adam would forget to sort it out.

Instead, Adam made a bee line for me when he came in the next morning.

“Good news. It’s sorted. She’s seen a picture of you I had on my camera and her cataracts have prevented her from seeing a true likeness. Funnily enough, she’s worried you’re the weirdo. I lied and said you weren’t. Anyway, I have sorted it for tonight.”

I must’ve looked doubtful.

“To make sure you don’t have time to change your mind. In the bar opposite here. Lilly and I will be in there to make the introductions. Get there about half seven.”

The day dragged. Most of them did. I went home and changed. I wasn’t really sure what kind of impression to make, so settled casual and relaxed (anything but!), which was jeans and a shirt.

I was my usual five minutes late and when I walked in, they were already stood at the bar.

“Hi ya mate. Lilly.”

I kissed Lilly lightly. She was a light peck kind of person. She was kind and quiet and patient. She had to be to put up with Adam.

“This is MariCarmen.”

I had practised my smile the whole way there and kissed her on both cheeks.

“Nice to meet you.”

“You too.”

Bloody hell, she was beautiful. Long, dark hair and big, brown eyes. She was tiny. Petite. She was in a cream dress, loose fitting. Ethan decided she must be a lunatic. How else would she be single when she was that attractive?

I bought drinks and we all sat in the window. Maybe she had no personality.

“So Adam tells me you also work in the dizzying, exciting world of his office?”

“Uh, yes. I sometimes have to pinch myself to check I am not dreaming. Or unconscious.”

“Well I work in a nursery and the delightful children pinch me without even being prompted. Still, I tie them to a chair before I leave to make sure they are still there tomorrow.”

She said it without expression. I had to double check, but it was OK, I could see the glint in her eye.

“Why are you single?” I blurted it out without thinking.

Adam groaned and looked out the window. Lilly excused herself and disappeared to the bar.

“Direct. I like that. Why do you ask? Is it because you cannot believe someone this beautiful doesn’t have legions of men queuing from the door?”

“Well, yes actually. It’s exactly that.”

Adam groaned more audibly than before. “What are you doing? At least small talk for a little while.”

“No, it’s fine. More directness. Well, all of the men I have been unfortunate enough to share my life with have been total wankers and I have vowed my only intimacy would be courtesy of Ann Summers.”

Adam leaned forward. “This gets worse. You have known each other for twenty minutes and you are already having inappropriate conversations. God help us.”

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